Was talking with a friend the other day that tripped this, as well as the conversations I've had with Princess and realized we, as women, have completely messed up men.
Yep, I said it!
Let's take the romance genre as an example of the man we want. Most of the women I know want an Alpha male. This is what they look for in a perfect hero. If he was a wuss the book (I'm pretty sure) wouldn't ever sell. They are looking for a male to stand up to them (and with them), but be man enough for us, as women, to be our own person.
Am I right? I know it's what I want.
But in saying that, I want to be my own person--with limitations. What do I mean by this?
I want to be treated like a woman should, like ladies used to be treated.
No, I don't want to do all the cooking and cleaning and taking care of the babies, but nor do I expect this completely from a male either. Don't get me wrong I've done it, and loved being a stay at home mom. But the flip side is that as a human being I didn't have the self-worth I needed to be a complete person. I like to work and bring home money and if someday I'm able to quit my job and work from home all the better. There is nothing, let me repeat this...NOTHING wrong with being a stay at home anything. It's the hardest job you'll ever have and I respect it.
What I don't respect is that there are more men out there thinking that women need to support them so that they can stay home and do nothing. I mean nothing. No cooking, no cleaning, no lawn work, no helping out while the woman works. This is not a real man to me.
Now, there is a caviat here - times are hard and there are those without work. Totally acceptable as long as they are willing to help out.
All of this became very clear to me when I was talking to my friend and my daughter's recount about the latest "tool" she's seeing. Most of them barely work, and even if they do I've found that she is still paying for things, like dinners, food for their apartments (ummm, she lives at home...), helping to pay their bills. And this one always gets me - she drives them around. WTH! So not a man of worth in my head.
This is my opinion of course--men should open doors for women (car, house, resturant...), Men should drive (I feel odd when I have to drive and HHB is in the passenger seat), which leads me to another new trend--men should come to the house to pick you up for a date, not the other way around, and men pay for dinners/movies, whatever. Sure if you're partners it comes out of the same account, but it's the principle in my mind.
Woman's rights haven't gotten us better pay, or equality - not that I can see. Sure, I can speak my mind and vote, but if there isn't a strong man treating me like a lady and respecting what I do--no thank you!
I have a great man of worth, so this isn't something I deal with except through friends and daughter, but I see/hear it so often it's getting painful.
Oh how the world changes. Yep, I'm sure glad I have an old fashioned man who believes that woman are still to be charished and taken care of. Am I old fashioned -- you bet! I want a man's man who works hard and takes care of his family and lets me help.
Whatever happened to the man who respected the woman? The cowboy on the white charger? The dominant (Alpha) to the submissive ? (couldn't resist throwing that in...LOL)
Are you seeing the same thing? Or have I lost my mind?